I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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