dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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