i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
