Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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