Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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