I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
