3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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