does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
