If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
