Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who died my cat blue again?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
