Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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