After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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