check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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