my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
