it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
