i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
pray to the hookup gods
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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