So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
