i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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