About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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