we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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