We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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