All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
