And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
