seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
