we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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