I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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