I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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