Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
