she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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