he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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