what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
