do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
