By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
