GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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