Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He has the fingertips of a God
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