i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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