There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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