Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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