your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
