So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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