who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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