Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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