Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
