someone owes me an orgasm
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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