I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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