To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
