just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
