Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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