Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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