Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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