My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
